Sexual abuse is the term used to describe any situation when someone is forced, pressured or tricked into taking part in sexual activity. This can happen in person or online. 

It includes sexual assault, which is when a person intentionally touches someone else in a sexual way that they do not like or agree (consent) to. It can include being forced to watch a sexual act.

Someone can use their physical strength to commit a sexual crime, but it can also be done through non-physical force. They might threaten their victim or ask for sex over and over, so their victim feels they cannot say no (coercion). 

Whether a sexual offence has happened to you, or you’ve witnessed it happening to someone else, there are charities and services in Derby and Derbyshire that can help.

Check out our list of support services below.

Knowing what consent means is key to understanding sexual assault and abuse. 

Consent means that everyone taking part in a sexual activity:

  • agrees to it
  • wants to do it
  • fully understands what is going on

If you do not consent it is illegal, even if you are in a relationship with the other person. 

If you change your mind during sex, or someone starts to do something you do not want, you can take your consent away. They should stop. 

Consent is not always verbal. If you go quiet, move away, or do not physically respond to the other person, they should understand that you may not be consenting. 

If you are ever unsure if someone has given their consent to a sexual act with you, always stop and ask without putting pressure on them. 

By law, you cannot give consent if you:

  • are drunk or on drugs 
  • are asleep or unconscious 
  • have a mental health issue or a disability that means you are unable to make the choice 

Find out more about consent.

In the UK you cannot legally consent to sex if you are under 16. The law is there to protect you from abuse. This means that if you are both under 16 and you both consent, the police will not want to prosecute you for sexual activity. 

If you are 12 or under, you cannot legally give consent to any form of sexual activity. However, you are not in trouble if you have done this. If the police and social services get involved, they will just need to find out if you are safe.  

There are laws that give extra protection to young people who are over the age of consent but under 18, in some situations. For example, if you are 16 or 17 and a teacher has sex with you, it is against the law because they have abused a position of trust. 

Rape is when a person uses their penis to enter a person’s vagina, anus, or mouth without their consent. 

Legally, rape is a separate offence and a type of sexual assault, but many people call it sexual assault. They are both serious crimes.

Stealthing is also rape in UK law. This is when someone decides to remove a condom during sex without their partner’s consent. 

Child sexual exploitation (CSE) is a type of sexual abuse. It is used to describe cases where children and young people under 18 are exploited.

They may receive things such as food, shelter, affection, or gifts in return for sexual activities. It can happen in real life or online. It can also involve violence and threats that can be physical or emotional. For example, someone may threaten to release intimate photos or share secrets. 

Victims of CSE can be tricked into trusting their abuser. They may believe that the relationship is consensual or even loving. This is called grooming.

It’s a myth that most cases of rape, sexual assault and abuse are carried out by strangers. In most cases, people will know the person who abuses or assaults them, and it often happens inside the home. 

When it comes to children, 9 out of 10 children either know or are related to their abuser. In about 3 in 10 cases, this abuser is another child or young person. 

If you are an adult who is worried about a child 

If you have any fears that a child or a young person could be being abused, do not wait until you have proof. 

Speak to any health professional or the police, or use the free and confidential NSPCC helpline 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, on 0808 800 5000. You can also report sexual abuse online.

1 in 20 children in the UK will experience sexual abuse, and the NHS has advice on how to spot the signs. 

Safe and Sound (Derby and Derbyshire) provide advice and information about CSE. Find out more about how to get support for a young person and how to make a referral.

If you are a child or a young person 

If you are 18 or under, and you think you are being sexually abused, you can get free and confidential help from Childline on 0800 1111.

You could also speak to an adult you trust, whether that’s a teacher, a doctor or a public health nurse (previously called school nurses). You can text a public health nurse for confidential advice on 07507 330025. The same applies if you are worried about someone else. 

If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, you can get help from the East Midlands Children & Young People Sexual Assault Service. 

If you are an adult who has been abused or assaulted

The NHS has advice on how to get help after rape and sexual assault. There are services that can help you. 

You do not have to report what happened to the police if you do not want to. Derbyshire Constabulary has a step-by-step guide that explains what happens when you report rape or sexual assault. 

SV2 also provides local support for all victims of sexual violence of any age, with therapy to referral to their sexual assault referral centre in Derby. 

There are charities and groups that can help you if you are a victim of sexual abuse or assault, or if you are worried about someone else. 

  • SV2 – offers support if you have experienced or suspect sexual abuse, including an anonymous report service and a 24/7 advice line. 
  • Women’s Work – support and information for vulnerable women and their families.
  • Karma Nirvana – help if you are a victim of honour-based abuse. 
  • Survivors UK – advice and support for boys and men who have been sexually abused. 
  • The Survivors Trust – can help if you have experienced sexual violence or abuse either recently or in the past.
  • Rape Crisis – provides online advice for victims of rape and a 24/7 support line.
  • GALOP – offers support if you are an LGBT+ victim of sexual abuse.
  • Childline – free and confidential advice for those aged 18 and under. 
  • East Midlands Children & Young People Sexual Assault Service – support if you’re a child or young person who has experienced rape or sexual assault. They also provide advice for friends and relatives. 
  • NSPCC – can help you understand about the different kinds of abuse, and help you report it.
  • SAIL – offers free specialist counselling for adults aged 18 and over who have experienced childhood sexual abuse, incest or sexual violence.