Many people use pornography (porn), either alone or with their partner. Taking an interest in porn is normal and healthy. Equally, it’s just as normal not to be interested in it, or to dislike it. 

Porn is easy to access and widely used, but it’s also often unrealistic. This means it can distort your expectations of real-life sex.

So, it’s good to stay aware of how porn might be affecting you and your relationships. Here’s the lowdown on porn, and how to get help with a porn addiction if you live in Derby or Derbyshire.

Porn is any sexually explicit content that’s designed to turn you on. Most people know porn as online videos. It also includes photos, art and written content like sex scenes in books. 

Porn is not new. In fact, it’s been around since ancient times. The internet has just made it easier to access and more widespread. 

There is a lot of debate about porn. That’s because some people think it can be harmful to people, relationships and society.

It’s vital to set limits about what you feel OK with. If you do not like porn do not feel pressured into using it. If you like to use porn, you still have the right to say no to anything you’re not happy with.

There are many reasons why people might watch, look at or read porn. Most do it to turn themselves on. 

It can be used alone while masturbating, or with other people. Many people use porn with their partner, to spice up sex. 

Young or sexually inexperienced people might use porn to find out about sex. Or if you’re more experienced, you might use it to find out about different kinds of sex, or sex acts that you would never want to try in real life. 

Porn is not a true depiction of sex or relationships. What you see in porn does not happen in most people’s sex lives. Porn is designed to be a fantasy. Sex in porn is often exaggerated.

It can be harmful if people expect the sex they see in porn to happen in real life. Things that are common in porn should not be seen as the norm.

Porn can normalise violence, especially when it comes to women. Nearly half of porn videos show violence like choking, gagging and slapping.  Porn also often does not show the emotional intimacy that comes with real-life sex.

Porn can also set unrealistic expectations for how people look. Actors in porn  often have an  idealised body type. They might well have had cosmetic surgery to look like they do.

The main thing is to recognise that porn is a story, just like any other movie. It should not be what you expect from real life.

Good real-life sex can be much better than porn because of the closeness and trust you have with your partner.

Porn rarely shows consent, which is key to healthy sex and relationships. Porn may also show people being coerced or pressured into having sex. In real life, you should never pressure anyone into sex, or feel at all pressured.

Read more about sex and consent.

You rarely see condoms used in porn. Using condoms is the best way to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancy.

Actors in porn test regularly for STIs, but this is never discussed as part of the storyline.   

You will also not see the awkwardness that is often part of real-life sex. Films are edited to make it look like sex takes much longer than it really did, too

Certain types of porn are against the law. This includes any porn with people under the age of 18, or porn involving animals. It also includes porn that’s life-threatening or could cause serious injury.

You must be over 18 to buy porn. It’s illegal to show or give porn to anyone under 18, even if you’re under 18 yourself.

Illegal porn can be reported to the Internet Watch Foundation.

Some people can become addicted to porn. If you use porn to help you get turned on, you may find you come to rely on it more and more. You may also need more extreme porn to get aroused.

Porn addiction can impact your sex-life and relationships. This might be because:

  • porn becomes more important to you than real-life sex
  • you compare yourself and your partner to actors in porn
  • you cannot get turned on by your partner or enjoy intimacy with them
  • you feel shame or anxiety about the porn you’re watching

Help is at hand if you think porn might be causing problems. Find out about sex therapy in Derby and Derbyshire, or check out other organisations who can help.